KOKORO: The Cost of Always Being On
The Cost of Always Being On
Welcome to Kokoro, where twice a month I send you thoughtfully chosen resources to help you get more of what you want through empowered decision making and improved self talk.
In this issue:
- Podcast Roundup
- The L.O.V.E. Letter: Using Self-Love to Deal with Overwhelm
Did someone forward this to you? If you like it, you can sign up here.
Want to grab time with me? You can do that here too.
🌸 Erin
P.S. I’m excited to share that I’ll be leading the very first session on the first day of the Running Remote conference coming to Austin, April 27-29. The conference’s purpose is to help us stay connected, productive, healthy, and successful in this fast-paced remotely distributed professional world.
My session, “Grounded: Move, Reset, and Arrive Together” is a guided, all-levels movement session to help participants feel present, energized, and ready for the conversations ahead.
If you lead a distributed or hybrid team, this conference might be for you!
1. Music is Therapy Podcast
You all know I love my podcasts.
I’m passionate about personal development and music too.
So I’m excited to tell you about the Music is Therapy podcast, with DJ and licensed therapist, DJ Hesta Prynn.
I have not 1, but 3 favorite episodes so far:
The Music that Made Me
Manifesting vs Manif*cking
Meditate to Get Good at Life
You’re in luck if you love this concept too.
This Saturday she’s hosting a free online “Music Connection Workshop”
Free workshop on Saturday April 18 (12pm Central Time)
Trust I would be there if I could!
On brand for me, I’ll be supporting an all-day professional development immersion. (Art of Facilitation Academy)
Would one of you be an angel — please go and tell me about it!
2. Relationships Made Easy Podcast
This podcast, Relationships Made Easy, did more for my self-love journey than practically anything else.
Dr. Abby Medcalf is a psychologist and, according to her, “the bossy Jewish mom you didn’t know you needed”.
Her podcast taught me legions about boundaries, communication, and — very importantly — taking responsibility for my own patterns. She’s not afraid to call out the listener, occasionally erupting with “you gotta look at your own behavior, you might be creating/enabling/perpetuating this dynamic”.
“I say with love…” she always says next.
Her research-informed, supportive, no BS, tough love opened my eyes and spurred me to action.
3. Hard Fork Podcast
I’m an AI optimist. That tracks since I’m an optimist in general.
At the same time, I’m not at all technical.
The Hard Fork podcast is hosted by two journalists who cover technology, for a non-tech audience. Since in 2026 tech = AI, every episode has at least one segment on AI. If you want to keep up with developments in an accessible way, this might be a good place to start.
Also, I challenge you not to laugh at least once per episode.
Both hosts make jokes, and Casey Newton in particular, IMO is hilarious.
You’re welcome!
The L.O.V.E. Framework and The Cost of Always Being On
I’m in a room of strangers, not reaching for my phone.
I smile at the person next to me, introduce myself, exchange a few words.
I read the materials provided by the speaker.
I sit quietly with my thoughts.
I’m surprised how liberating it feels. Present. Calm. Available. Balanced.
Look Within
Lately I’ve been working really hard.
Enjoying moving projects forward and interacting with clients and collaborators.
But little by little it became too much and I found myself overwhelmed.
I’m being productive — staying on top of texts, emails, and comments on my posts.
But I’m also dividing my attention and feeling pulled in too many directions at once.
Half-present everywhere, fully present nowhere.
Observe & Own
To address the overwhelm, I’ve become more careful about how I invest time and energy with the people in my life — evaluating carefully what I say yes to.
But you know what takes far more energy and attention than my friends?
My phone.
I flip from iMessage to WhatsApp to email to LinkedIn to Instagram, looking for something I need to respond to.
I’m going to go ahead and say it: that’s a lot of apps.
Each step feels productive.
But the cumulative effect is not — because I feel drained and paralyzed, not knowing what to focus on.
A well-timed article on the trend of “phone detox” shook me into self-awareness.
I created this pattern. I can also change it.
Voice & Verify
I asked myself: what if my weekends were quasi phone-free?
Without over-analyzing it I decided to use my phone on an “essential only” basis as an experiment for the whole weekend.
I didn’t know in advance how I would navigate that, but two criteria emerged:
→ Do I need to do this right now?
→ Do I need to do it on my phone?
Reading and responding to most texts did not qualify.
Using Google Maps to get to an event did.
This is more art than science.
What I’m after is relief from the overwhelm.
For me, that means not distributing my attention across all possible work streams at any given moment.
Taking back my power and responsibility to choose what gets my attention and when.
Not abandoning the things I’m doing, but finding new guardrails for doing them with intention.
Mental corrals of single-tasking (or single-being), if you will.
Evolve
I’m hooked on how I feel after just two days of “essential only” phone use.
Relief, focus, freedom.
While what “essential only” means will continue to evolve, my target is this feeling — and I’ll keep calibrating my behavior in service of that.
This is the L.O.V.E. framework in real, practical, down-to-earth action.
Try This
Think of an area in your life where you feel overwhelmed.
Ask yourself: Is there a pattern you’ve participated in creating?
What experiment could you run to shift it?
Then do that thing.
What’s coming up for you? Hit reply — I’d love to know.
Until next time, 🌸 Erin
WRAPPING UP…
Before you go: Here’s how I can help…
My work is focused on helping ambitious people, including men and women, align their head and self-talk with their deepest-held desire, so they can achieve more, build the relationships they want, and bring their unique gifts to the world.
If you’ve been successful most of your life, but hit a ceiling or don’t feel the fulfillment you thought you would, I offer…
- 1-1 Self Love and Empowerment Mentoring
- Lighting “L.O.V.E. Framework” Group Cohort (4 sessions)
- Corporate Trainings on Leadership, Communication, Team Building
I set aside free office hours specifically for readers of this email.
If you’d like to connect and chat about any of this, grab time with me here.
Until next time,
🌸 Erin