The Art of Integration: When Enough is Enough
Welcome to Kokoro, where we explore Practical Self-Love: the inner work that creates outer results.
In this issue:
- The Art of Integration: When enough is enough
- 3 wishes for you: Pleasure, Curiosity, Appreciation
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🌸 Erin
P.S. My website keeps evolving! I’d love for you to take a peek: erinwarner.net
The Art of Integration
When enough is enough
I dubbed this past summer my Integration Sabbatical. The previous summer I had named JOMO - joy of missing out. I’m starting to see a pattern.
Pushing myself hard for months on end leads to needing an emotional, energetic, or physical break. And that requires giving myself permission to take a break. I realized this thanks to a fortunate conversation with a friend. Telling her how I felt low energy and low motivation heading into the summer, she said, “It sounds like you need integration.”
The wisdom and truth of that hit me immediately. All of a sudden I felt human, instead of defective. Integration is a thing, that people do, that people need. I am human!
If you’re reading this, you’re probably human too. Or you’re somebody’s AI agent, in which case, I’m flattered that a human asked their agent to read Kokoro. But let’s assume for now that you’re human. 👋
The What and Why of Integration
Integration is the process of taking what we’ve learned and experienced and incorporating it into who we are, how we see ourselves, and how we live.
It’s different from simply learning something new. We can accumulate knowledge, insights, tools, and experiences without necessarily having the time or space to absorb them.
I’ve learned a lot in the past few years. I dove into the deep end of self-love, healing, and empowerment, acquiring an abundance of new tools and experiences.
While they’ve all been additive, at a certain point, my brain, my soul, is full. The way my stomach is after a good meal.
I need to digest all this amazing material.
What My Integration Sabbatical Looked Like
1. Permission
I think cute but official-sounding names like JOMO and Integration Sabbatical feel like permission to me. If taking time to resource myself is “an official-sounding thing” then doing that is not “doing nothing.” All of a sudden it feels valid to slow down.
2. No New Inputs
A pause on courses, trainings, collaborations, and projects.
I felt I didn’t have room for more inputs coming in. Similar to a feast, when there’s a certain point where you just don’t want to eat anymore. And what is our world today if not an all-you-can-eat buffet of information?
I even cut way back on podcasts. I typically consume them voraciously, but towards the end of the summer, almost zero. Even on long walks, I found myself gazing at the trees, the clouds, lost in my own thoughts, not missing the podcast content at all.
3. Trust
Not pushing for the integration to be a certain way or happen on a certain timeline.
I created a container for the Integration Sabbatical, from August until the end of September, but I didn’t overanalyze or micro-manage the days. It was more like a long slow exhale.
I filled the days with lighthearted pursuits like karaoke, board games, and meals with friends. Long walks and unstructured time in nature.
Just as I never worry, “Will I ever be hungry again?” after a particularly filling meal, I didn’t worry that I would never be hungry for growth, challenge, and creation again. Trusting that when the integration is complete, I will know it.
Perhaps there are seasons for creating, learning, and expanding, and seasons for allowing everything to settle. Neither is more valuable than the other.
Try This
Is there anything in your life that doesn’t need more input, more effort, or another solution right now? Something you’ve learned or experienced that you haven’t yet given yourself the time and space to integrate?
Maybe there’s a pause you’d like to take.
If so, consider
- Giving yourself permission — Integration is a normal and valid process.
- Giving yourself a defined amount of time — I gave myself August and September for my sabbatical. That’s pretty extensive, but it’s not open-ended, and I think that sense of containment is important.
- Defining the conditions — Adapting “no new inputs” to your situation.
And then letting yourself sink into that. You might be surprised by how you feel.
What's coming up for you? Hit reply — I'd love to know.
Click the Links for Resources I’ve Found Valuable Lately
Wish Number 1: Pleasure
Do something just for fun
I took a break from my Bollywood dance cardio classes, but now I’m back with a renewed joy. Yes it’s good for me, but I go for the fun of it. What could you do just for fun?
Wish Number 2: A Vessel for Your Curiosity
Go deep with a trusted guide
I recently heard an interview with an author I like and admire, Michael Pollan. I’ve read 1 or 2 of his dozen or so books. And that felt like a jackpot! There are so many of his books still for me to read and discover!
My plan is to work my way through his entire library, starting with This is Your Mind on Plants. If you haven’t read one of his early books, A Place of My Own, it’s different and one of my favorites.
Is there an author, teacher, or even influencer who you would like to go deep with?
Wish Number 3: Appreciation
See what’s right in front of you
I’ve been watching Gilmore Girls (for the first time, I missed the boat back in the early 2000s), and fantasizing about life in a charming small town like Stars Hollow. If you don’t know, the show is about a mother and daughter, and the 3rd major character is the town they live in. A few weeks ago I was at the village festival of my partner’s hometown in Italy and it hit me — this is my Stars Hollow.
It took me a long time to see it. I admit I had spent many years viewing this perfectly fine village through a harsh lens. But now I’ve seen it through the lens of Stars Hollow — the wacky and lovable characters, the sometimes maddening civic engagement, the intertwined lives. It makes me realize this gem has been at my fingertips this whole time, yet it only came into focus once I held it up to the light and looked at it from the right angle.
Perhaps there’s an unidentified treasure in your life, right in front of your eyes, at this very moment.
Before you go: Here’s how I can help…
My work is focused on helping ambitious people put Practical Self-Love into action, so they can pursue their deepest desires, build the relationships they want, and bring their unique gifts to the world.
If you’ve achieved success, but hit a ceiling or don’t feel the fulfillment you thought you would, I offer…
- 1-1 Coaching
- Lightning L.O.V.E. Program for self-love and empowerment
- Corporate Trainings on Leadership, Communication, Team Building
I also set aside free office hours specifically for readers of this email. If you’d like to connect and chat about your ambitions, reserve time with me here.
Until next time,
🌸 Erin